The folly of perfect love


The quest for true love

Do you believe in perfect love? I have a theory. I often ask a person if they’ve seen ‘The Princess Bride’; if they have, and many have, I then ask did they like it. Most do, occasionally someone won’t; I struggle to understand how anyone can’t. It’s got humour, swordfights, treachery, excitement, great story telling and true love. I think that’s what we all crave and yet it’s so hard to find. If someone doesn’t like ‘The Princess Bride’ then I wonder if they understand the concept of true love. I know it’s simplistic and a man of my age should know better, but I think I’m an idealist.

It really does begin with a kiss

The most popular blog I’ve written over the last couple of years has been ‘the touch of a kiss’. You may have even been kind enough to have read it. That seemed to reach people in a way that much of my writing hasn’t. Was it particularly well written? That’s not for me to say, but there was clearly a link that people were making about a kiss and passion. I’m glad because that’s what I set out to to do. To stimulate and have a reader feel that first touch of passion and hope for the future. What happens when we get it wrong? Have you ever been in love with someone and you knew they didn’t love you? What do you do? Do you stumble on like the love sick fool you feel you are or do you cut free and know that person is gone forever? What about where love once was and now, for one of you, it has faded and for the other it burns brighter than ever? Is this when the person in love is simply terrified to lose that which they once had?

Making it last

Love is indeed, a passing thing. So what of the lovely old couples who stay together? My mum and step-father are coming up to 40 years of marriage; I know for a fact it’s been a long, tough road, but I’d hazard to say that they still love each other. Why is it that my longest relationship lasted 13 years? Is it because times have changed? We simply don’t expect to stay together forever anymore or is it that we forget to work at it? The immediacy of someone else is so much easier to find, thanks to a transient population and Facebook. Did you ever leave someone and a year later wonder why you didn’t stay with them? I know that many break ups happen for good reasons, but some relationships really should survive. I know I’ve had a couple that should have either stayed the distance or at least lasted longer than they did.

The Rubik’s Cube of love

Love is so hard to find. Sometimes you love someone and they don’t love you. Another time someone will love you and you don’t love them. Sometimes you may go out with someone for a short while and you both know that it will never work. Finally there is the true sadness. The relationship where you know you both love each other and yet you can’t make the it work. Pride steps in the way or you can’t see the future together until you look back from the past with a sad backward glance and ask ‘why didn’t I try harder?’ Love really may start with a kiss, but it’s the heart that makes the passion and the head that sees the future. I included the video from ‘Love Actually’ because it sums up, in two minutes or so, exactly what I feel sometimes. Sometimes I’m the guy and sometimes I’m the girl – from the clip. Trying to find the right combination, one which will last, is a life’s work. What I thought I knew I no longer know and what I know changes. It doesn’t stop me seeking it or believing it, but some days are a little harder than others.

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