The full title of the book is “How to seduce your wife (or anyone else’s)”. I knew from the start that this might court some controversy, but the book – which is 266 pages long – goes into considerable depth about the process of seduction, something that we instinctively know, but manage to lose the habit of when we are in a long term relationship.
There are all sorts of reasons why a relationship falls apart from boredom to falling out of love to a person changing their perspective of life and the aim of this book is to understand why this happens and to either help you resurrect the relationship you are in or know when it is time to end it.
In my years as a therapist many people came to me with a variety of issues and challenges and many times those challenges could be traced back to the quality of their relationship. By talking to more and more people and by conducting my own research it seemed that the principle reason for any relationship breakdown was the quality of communication. I find it ironic that in the greatest ever time of connectivity so many people don’t talk to each other. It almost as if social media, tablets and gaming has taken over our lives. This books seeks to address that.
It covers the three types of person: The prisoner – trapped and can’t get out. The wanderer – released from a failing relationship and now facing the world which has changed completely since they got married or became part of a couple. There is also the phoenix – the person who believes they can breathe new life into a fading relationship. The impressionable single person could also be in the ‘wanderer’ category.
‘Seduce’ covers the tactics of the ‘player’ – those ‘Alfie’ types looking to pick up any woman, but it is also true that there are women like this too. It looks at dating websites, some of the disasters and how to be successful.
Women speak throughout the book, whether as part of the grooming survey, in the sex survey or in the stories related throughout the book. Sex in the 21st Century is spoken about in far more open terms since the phenomenon of ’50 Shades of Grey’, but what do women want now? In another section prostitution is discussed and the reasons why men visit them.
If one subject crops up time and again it is romance, not the box of chocolates and flowers from Tesco variety, but the type that so many women crave, the romance that sweeps them off their feet and makes the soul soar and fly. This book has taken the voices of many women and translated it into language that men can understand.
From the book:
“Romance is the giving of the soul. It is not superficial presents or the act of calculation, it is the supreme act of giving. It is the giving of your soul and it also the receiving of everything that the person you love wants to give you. All of their dreams, all of their desire, all of their passion. It is also about taking their hand and helping them through their fears and together, as in the best fairytales, you walk hand in hand towards the sunset where your future lies and the best of you resides. ”
It is also a book liberally laced with humour; it will make you laugh, it will make you think. Two months before it is published it is creating conversations and discussion that could help to regain connection from the electronic devices that control so much of our lives and bring a level of connection missing from so many relationships.