The touch of a kiss

The most intimate of acts

I have always considered a kiss to be the most intimate of acts. Not the peck you receive from your mum, or the slobbery, sometimes whiskery lip touch from Grandma or even the slightly food filled kiss of a small child, no, I’m talking about the act of intimacy that passes between two people who like, or love, each other. When kissing stops in a relationship, as far as I’m concerned, it’s over. When you see someone who makes you take a sharp intake of breath the next thing you often think is ‘what would it be like to kiss them?’ If you no longer wonder that why would you want to be with them? Kissing equals attraction, passion, desire, affection, lust, hope and promise. Without that you only have friendship and comfort.


Some people may disagree, but from the number of clients I’ve seen who express sorrow, anger, depression or frustration with their partner in every case the passion has gone and the kissing went with it. Consider this for a moment. Remember a time when you wanted to kiss someone. Do you remember the fear you had that you may have got the timing wrong or you’d misinterpreted the signals? What happens if they slap me or it all ends in embarrassment? These questions race through our minds as we move closer to the person waiting to feel the soft, slightly wet feeling of their mouth on yours. And then we decide it’s time. It is a moment of pure romance, or lust. It is always a moment of passion. You can feel it. Chemicals race through your brain, your breathing speeds up, your skin colour changes and blood is pushed around your body. You feel alive!

The emotion of a kiss

Have you ever felt a kiss days after it had dried in the wind and time had taken away the moment? Where you could feel the pressure of their lips on yours? Perhaps a song brought the feelings back of how good you felt. Or a smell or circumstance. Where you could see the person’s face and feel them in your arms. An embrace normally accompanies or follows a great kiss.

Remember the passion

This is not about what happens after. Where, in the classier films of the time, the door closes and we don’t see what goes on next. This is all about kissing. Of the great kisses of your life where love/lust – take your pick – takes you on a journey unique to the two of you. Where the moon was brighter, the air crisper, the smell of perfume sweeter or the air that surrounded you was like a forcefield holding you both in. Last time I talked about the power of a moment, this is what I meant. Encapsulated in a physical act of attraction, belief and hope. Kissing is the extreme act of giving. It’s about trust, about offering yourself up, about the future and it begins with a single kiss. From that moment on your life changes. For some people it means marriage, for some children, for others pain and hurt, for some it is a mistake, for many it is a gift. It’s a kiss and yet it’s your whole life, your past, present and future. If you have someone in your life kiss them with real meaning and you won’t have to use words to explain how you feel. If you want someone and you think they want you kiss them and you’ll know. For those who are adrift and looking to be kissed reference the great movie kisses: Trevor Howard and Celia Johnson in ‘Brief Encounter’, Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh in ‘Gone With The Wind’ or Leonardo di Caprio and Kate Winslett in ‘Titanic’. We remember passion and we want to be reminded of it. Practice, remember, live x